Christmas Crackers Update! Important!

We have extended the submissions period 'til Sunday 28th November.

Voting will commence Monday 29th November until 19th December. 


For full contest details please go to http://gigglesnort.net/viewpage.php?page=crackers


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Christmas Crackers Update

Only 8 days left for submissions!

We would love for you all to get involved in the competition - whether you think you're a good writer or not.

This competition is all about fun. Let your mind run free and have a bit of fun with the characters.

Please have all submissions sent to us by 19th November @ 23:49 PST (or whatever that is called on the West Coast USA - yeah, I'm a Brit ;) )

For more information check out: http://www.gigglesnort.net/viewpage.php?page=crackers

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact one of us.

Thanks for your support,

TwifanUK, Gasaway Alley, Rosa Bella and Viola Cornuta.
http://www.gigglesnort.net

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Scary Suggestions

	Book Suggestions for Halloween
	Classic Horror Collection By: Various Published by: MobileReference.com Classic Horror Collection. Incl. Dracula, Present at a Hanging, Tales of Terror and Mystery, The Phantom of the Opera, The Cask of Amontillado, Varney the Vampire, Frankenstein, The Raven & MORE... more...		Horowitz Horror By: Horowitz, Anthony Published by: Philomel From the creator of the Alex Rider Adventures comes this wicked collection of macabre tales sure to send shivers up the spine. more...
	Kitty's House of Horrors By: Vaughn, Carrie Published by: Grand Central Publishing REALITY BITES Talk radio host and werewolf Kitty Norville has agreed to appear on TV's first all-supernatural reality show. She's expecting cheesy competitions and manufactured drama starring shapeshifters, vampires, and psychics. But what begins as a... more...		Fear: 13 Stories of Suspense and Horror By: Writers Association, International Thriller Published by: Dutton Children's Don't turn out the lights. Don't go out alone. And whatever you do, don't let down your guard. Because your neighbors might seem normal, but why do they collect knives and eat their steaks so bloody? more...
	Our Haunted Lives By: Belanger, Jeff Published by: ReadHowYouWant Our Haunted Lives features the stories of dozens of people who have witnessed the supernatural firsthand--in their homes, at work, in cities large and small, in the United States and abroad. more...		Ghost Hunt By: Hawes, Jason; Wilson, Grant; Dokey, Cameron (other) Published by: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers An exciting new middle grade collection of spooky paranormal investigations based on REAL ghost hunts from stars of the TV show Ghost Hunters , the number one reality show on cable television! In a lush, thick volume, Ghost Hunt will feature multiple... more...
	Living With Ghosts By: Sperring, Kari Published by: DAW The dazzling debut from a brilliant new fantasy talent. This highly original, darkly atmospheric fantasy novel immerses readers in a world where ghosts and other malevolent spirits seek entry into mortal realms—invisible to all but those who are not... more...		The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Paranormal By: Brown, Nathan Robert Published by: Alpha Books An otherworldly examination of the unknown that will keep fright fans reading all night From any strange experience that can't be defined by science to psychic phenomena to monsters and weird creatures, The Complete Idiot's Guide(r) to the Paranormal... more...
	Shadow Tales By: Grover, John Published by: Double Dragon Publishing There is a world that exists within our world. It is the world of shadow. A realm where anything is possible, a world where nothing is as it seems, a world that few have ever seen and returned to tell the tale. In this world new kinds of monsters are... more...		The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft By: Gleason, Katherine Published by: Alpha Books This guide offers a beginner's look at the history of paganism, Wicca, and witchcraft, from the Druids and Celts to the witches of today who practice an earth-based religion, cast spells, and perform natural magic. The book, written by a practicing witch,... more...

	Best Selling Fiction Titles Books that are definitely worth a read - our Best Selling Fiction Free Excerpts Free excerpts for titles which are new, noteworthy or strongly in demand this month. Just Arrived! We're adding hundreds of great titles each month. Recently Reduced Titles On Sale - Our favorite and most popular ebooks!

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Featured Review : Sweet Tooth by MacFlan

Review for “Sweet Tooth” by MacFlan
Reviewed By: FL95

http://www.gigglesnort.net/viewstory.php?sid=50

SUMMARY: Come to Pink Cookie, where porn never tasted this good. Erotic baker, Edward Cullen has a new obsession in the form of Bella Swan. Will his buttercream satisfy her sweet tooth? AH, OOC, Comedy/Romance. Collab between BellaFlan and Mac214.

Okay, so, when I first found out that miss BellaFlan was writing this story, I knew I’d be reading it, since “Becoming Bella Swan” had me happy giddy laughing my ass off with confusion at every chapter in a very oh my fucking god what in the hell is gonna happen in the end, kind of way.

Then I found out she was Collaborating with Mac214, who writes a very witty Scottward story, and I must say, I laughed my ass off in just the first chapter of that craziness.

Anyway!

Needless to say, it didn’t take much twisting of my arm(s) to get me to read Sweet Tooth.

Edward is a bakery chef, who specializes in making…um…highly inappropriate cakes and…things (penis cake, anyone?) and oh yeah, has a hard on every other paragraph for the sugar addicted, cute as a button Bella Swan in this one and it cracks me up quite often to read the sugar coated (pun intended) innuendos that are shot back and forth between the two of them throughout the story.

Edward crushes on Bella, of course, but the love struck baker seems to work through his day dreams by creating a fantasy Bella to talk dirty to, so he can practice voicing his dirty, dirty needs for his life sized muse. What makes him even more endearing to me, is that, sometimes he gets caught just as the real life Bella shows herself again and inevitably, hears what he has to say.

Not that she minds.

Enter Jacob Black.

A fucking health inspector.

Who catches them in the middle of…certain…

*clears throat*

Well, I’m not gonna ruin it for you.

If you like to laugh, spit soda out of your nose at random, crazy, geniously written, hilarious FanFiction, and read to just enjoy a fun ride, this is the fic for you because these two ladies have the best sense of humor when it comes to writing the funny and it flows…so well.

Plus they are really good people, to boot.

Hope you read them, if you don’t, you’re missing out.

Just sayin’.

Peace Love & Patron!

FL95

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Christmas Flash

 The very first submission for the Christmas Cracker Anon O/S Challenge has been posted!

Christmas Flash
Bella sees something she didn’t think she’d see when family friends came to visit, but she was glad that she did.

Read it @ http://www.gigglesnort.net/viewuser.php?uid=271

We will be posting submissions as soon as we receive and validate them. That means if you are wanting to enter the contest, the earlier you submit, the longer people have to read your entry. 


All contest details can be found @ http://www.gigglesnort.net/viewpage.php?page=crackers


Keep 'em coming!

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Christmas Crackers Anon One-Shot Contest

It's that time of year again. Time to dig out the dusty decorations in the attic, worry about what you're going to buy everyone and panic that your 15lb turkey just isn't going to fit in the damn oven!

Fear not! We have the antidote to all of your headaches!

The Christmas Crackers Anon One-Shot Contest is here! 

We’re looking for you to CRACK US UP!!

Fill us to the brim with giggles, snorts, guffaws and/or groans. Holiday cheer (or what should have been Holiday Cheer), funny costumes, the last dash for presents before the stores open. Whatever you can come up with.

Hit us with your straight comedy, crackfic, awkward, funny fruit (lemons and limes included), dark humour and anything that else may be knocking around in your head.

As long as it's funny and has a Christmas theme it's good!

For more info and to send in your submissions head over to 

http://www.gigglesnort.net/viewpage.php?page=crackers

We can't wait to see what you come up with!

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Oh hai!

Hello, dia duit, bonjour, hallo, ciao, hola and hej to you all.

Welcome to the Giggle/Snort Blog where we aim to tickle the funny bones of everyone in the most efficient way.

This blog is the place to come to read our funny (stupid? inane?) thoughts and all of the wonderful 'Featured Reviews' for stories on the main site @ http://www.gigglesnort.net

We hope you enjoy your visit and don't forget to come back y'all. We get lonely...

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Featured Review : Edward Cullen Dick for Hire by FL95

Ladies and Gentlemen (assuming we have some of the *ahem* fairer sex on here...).
Introducing our very first 'Featured Review' on GSF. Ofcourse, we had to have a very special person pop our cherry on here, and who better than the man himself, Eddie DcCullen.

Dick for Hire by FL95

                             Rec by goldenmeadow (aka Miss Rie) and Eddie DcCullen of Dead Confederates

                      

http://gigglesnort.net/viewstory.php?sid=6

Summary: Private Eye Edward Cullen is a hot shot around the DC area, ready for anything until Bella Swan arrives in town as his competition. Can he solve his cases AND keep up with the curve balls she throws at him? AH BxE, Language, Lemons, Laughing, Violence


goldenmeadow: OMFG my head was so goddamn boggled by the crime syndicate, the cocky motherfuckin’ Edward Cullen Dick for Hire (connotations much?), and well…um…okay, see right there? I already damn lost it.


Eddie: Why don’t you start with the Dick’s Chick, Rie?


goldenmeadow: *grumbles* Figures. Alrighty then. This Bella, she’s all over the place, and she’s not only got a pretty face but the smarts to go with it.  She’s been taken on to work a murder…that The Dick is already hired for.  So he’s pissed and probably expecting a Dick Dyke--because that Dick can be a stereo-fucking-typical prick without even trying--but then they meet. And sparks fly immediately!  Territorial, hormonal, and did I say they both carry guns?  Bella’s damn fresh. Streetwise, but similarly naïve and innocent. She’s just as likely to flush and flounder as fuckin’ tear you a new one with one stare from her narrowed eyes and a grip of her fingers on her weapon.


Eddie: Now we’re talking. I love me a woman who can handle a firearm, close-goddamn-range.  She can take a bead on you down the barrel and bring you to your knees with one click, one lick. Sassy, succulent…and sweet as hell.


Quote:
It was the lace undies turn now, and those, I knew I had to be careful with.
I got down on my knees and started to pull at them gently.
Because I fucking knew Alice would kill my ass for ruining a creation of hers, that's fucking why.
Her legs rubbed against each other as I slide the material down and off of her, and I kissed the inside of her thigh through the fishnet, unable to fucking resist the soft milky skin just begging me to…fucking manhandle her.
I left the god damn boots on.
The only piece of material left on her was the damn bra, and I wasn't gonna be able to get that off without ripping it, so I left it, but pulled the material down around her breasts, encompassing them both, so I could suck on each of her nipples, and she arched her god damn back again, driving the hardness of them into my mouth even more.
I fucking had to bite it. I couldn't help myself.
And she liked that shit, because she hissed at me, and that was my motherfucking compass.
My mouth traveled up her chest, to her neck, and then her jaw, landing finally on her mouth because I just couldn't stay the fuck away from that mouth of hers.
God I wanted that mouth on my dick again.
But not now.
This was all The Swan.
I leaned my forehead against hers, noting the struggling she was doing, wanting to use her hands, but she couldn't, and I stepped back a little, taking her in, cuffed to a god damn wall, with practically no fucking clothes on.
No god damn words ladies and gentlemen.
"Jesus," escaped my mouth.
"Like what you see, Master?" she asked me breathlessly, blushing like a motherfucker.


goldenmeadow: Fuuuuuuck. Yes.


Eddie: Yeah.


goldenmeadow: *startles and clears throat* Where were we?


Eddie: Dickin’ around?


goldenmeadow: Oh yeah, about that Dick.  A slouch, but so determined—in his own layabout-pass-out on his office sofa-Patron drinkin’ way.  He is a dick in every sense of the word, a real prick—or he thinks he is—and he’s a pretty one. The most bizarre thing is he’s oddly romantic, a real Longfellow/Goodfella (know what I mean?).  I can’t even make him out, but damn if I don’t wanna make out with him-


Eddie: Rie, your Tourette Syndrome is showing…can we get back to beautiful boobs Bella?
goldenmeadow: Maybe we ought to talk about the story?


Eddie: *pouts sexily and adjusts himself and curses in a surly way*


goldenmeadow: Honestly, I fell so hard for this because the conspiracies are killer. The reader doesn’t know up from down, right from wrong…and neither does Dickward.  He’s happily jerking his junk and getting on with his own messed up existence, and then along comes Bella-with-a-badge. And the web she weaves has him both gunning to get in her g-string and questioning her at gunpoint.  Is she with him? Does she want him, truly? Is she playing him?  Seriously, ‘Fuckin-A’ seriously, this is mind-fucking at its filthiest, funniest, hottest finest. And with some very wicked finesse c/o FL95’s precise pen-wielding.


Eddie: And they fuck a lot…and point weapons at each other…and the bitter battlement of reality sets in, yeah?


goldenmeadow: Well, said, Eddie.  Then there’s the whole Cullen family dynamic: it’s a Christly mess!  Edward won’t speak to his father, Carlisle; The Dick’s been labeled the black sheep of the family who only wants to be balls deep in women. Straight-arrow brother Emmett is up and coming on the DC PD, with which Edward has a hate-hate relationship. Then there’s Jessica—this is a Jess you want to be your BFF…except…--and Seth. My Lord, Seth!  The homeless boy who makes The Dick’s heart apparent through his usual diatribes on cunt-fuckery and criminals and cooter.


Eddie: Jesus Christ, you know I only read this shit because of that prettily packaged pussy, right?


goldenmeadow: *rolls eyes like a Magic-8 ball* Baby, hush up now. There’s screwy Newton, also on the Force, and Aro…seriously, if you wake up with a horse head in your bed, I bet he’s behind it.  And at the end…after bombs and harassment and ducking behind dumpsters in back alleys because bullets are whizzing in the city—through it all The Dick is jizzing, and Jasper is a damn cybernetic-hot-geek-genius with the TNT know-how—you will not know which end is up.


Eddie: Usually my dick, baby, and your knees.


goldenmeadow: Don’t I know it, darlin’.  But really, the tone is right-fuckin’-on.  The lingo excellent, the drama escalating.  This is genius, gorgeous, sexy with a side of comedy and a helping of a hundred or so heart-stopping moments.


Eddie: Wait a goddamn minute!  Did we point out Bella, and the sweet sidearm and the way she wields it?  What about the wall-fucking?  Because I think that hot shit needs to be replayed, reiterated, repeated…again.
goldenmeadow: Yeah, well…maybe we should leave that tasty morsel for the readers to uncover themselves.  Now this, this made me friggin’ hold my heart and scream at FL95, “Don’t end it here!”

Quote:
Even though I didn't fucking have it, but I wouldn't need it, I was either gonna get some goddamn answers and get out, or die trying. Either way, I was settled.
By the time Midnight rolled around, I was waiting and ready at the North end of the Mall as the red Ferrari pulled up to a spot and parked about twenty-five, maybe fifty feet away from me.
I'd figured the car would be part of what was coming, along with who the hell had been driving it all this time. I also figured, whoever the driver turned out to be, could tell me where the fuck Bella was, and then I could go get her ass out of whatever shit she was in.
As I walked up to the car and started to see who was seated in it though, half of me cringed, as I only vaguely recognized the person sitting there.
I hadn't been sure that I was ready to get this particular answer to my theories, but it was time.
Her head was down, but my gut was talking pretty goddamn loudly, and I could barely get the words to form, as I realized who she was. I pulled my Colt out, feeling a surge of both anger and relief, which was, fucking confusing to say the least and as I neared her, I noticed no one around, although I figured they were there, somewhere.
My heart hurt, and I felt like there was something that needed to be said, but nothing was coming to me.
She wouldn't look at me, and I was pretty fucking sure she was crying, although I had no idea if the tears were because she finally had to face me, or because she knew what the consequences would be when I finally found her out.
All I could do was stand there, waiting, until finally, I spoke her name, waiting for her to look at me once and for fucking all and even as I said it, everything just felt...wrong.
"Jess?"


goldenmeadow: Love, hate, fuck…love…kill?  Now, there’s ten thousand (more) AH fics out there. But this one, it fuckin’ grabbed me, twisted me inside out, made me pound out reviews and beg for more…


Don’t forget to check out the sequel, The Dick in Me, also here at the Giggle Snort Files.

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